Does My Butt Look Fat In This Armor?
by Iroka
Summary: A man should always do what a woman wants, even if that means dressing up in each other's clothes. MadaMito. One-shot.


Today was one of those days for Mito. One of those days you get where you're bored. _Too bored. _So bored you start doing things that isn't exactly normal. Like dancing with your dog or spinning in a computer chair until your head hurts.

Unfortunately for Mito she had no pet dog or a computer. She was out of luck there.

The Uchiha Compound had a settled aura over it today, which didn't occur often. Usually something always happened, whether it be another accidental fire in the dry season or an intentional one... The Uchiha were pyromaniacs. It was a good thing Mito knew suiton or her own home, she shared with Madara the biggest pyro of them all, would burn down for sure.

Did she have anything better to do? Not really. Her home was clean -inside and out, she was out of scrolls to write any seals and they weren't to arrive for another few days and Madara was in his office doing paperwork.

She looked over to the wardrobe in the corner of the room, remembering Madara's armor _was_ a bit dirty and needed cleaning. After battle he always cleaned it himself but usually she would have to go behind him and clean the spots he missed. That was men for you.

Walking over to it gingerly, she opened the outdated piece of furniture and saw his crimson war gear hanging sloppily inside. She gave a half smirk at how poorly he handled things. If it wasn't in battle, he didn't pay attention to detail.

One time he ate a bowl of edamame _whole_, that was just proof he didn't pay attention to the small detail that you can only eat the beans inside. Who doesn't know that?

"_Someone who doesn't have time to sit around and eat fancy beans!" _She remembered him saying.

It's true, he away constantly and never knew how to enjoy simple things when he was home. Simple things like properly hanging your war gear.

She pulled out the large red pieces of his armor and went to go fetch the jar of vinegar to sanitize and clean away the spots of dirt, blood and whatever else he managed to roll around in.

Sitting in the middle of her bedroom floor, she began scrubbing at the contents. When she mentioned he missed a few spots, she realized he missed more than she ever imagined. Especially in hard to reach cracks and crevices.

After several minutes, the smell of vinegar was filling the room and she was pleased she had finished the hard part of the job. The armor was the most sensitive and important part of shinobi gear. She was proud with her work as she examined, making sure everything was perfect. If it wasn't then he would laugh at her once she rubbed it in his face later.

Starting on the last part of the task, all his fire-proof cloth, like his gloves and the robe he wears under his armor. She thought it'd be the easiest part, she was wrong.

As soon as she held a glove up by its finger dirt poured out and onto her clean floor. She stared at it a little annoyed. "Clean he says, clean." The fuinjutsu master realized insisting on cleaning his gear would have to be more than a polite gesture after this.

More than several minutes passed while she worked on cleaning and patching up all his gear. She was almost thankful his he was such a lazy slob with his gear, this slight touch up turned into an adventure that refreshed her sewing skills from all the holes he made.

Finished with his clothes and gloves, she marveled at her accomplishment. Mostly she was looking forward to showing him what she could do and what he could not. She wasn't a competitive woman, but he loved turning everything into a competition and this was one she could win.

Trying on the glove to make sure everything felt right, she was pleased and stared at her creation. Of course the glove fit very loosely on her but she could tell no sewing errors had occurred. She stared at the new and improved glove on her hand. She had never worn gloves to battle before and it felt unnatural to her. She tried on the other and examined them. The material was custom made and meant for fire-style users, to prevent from burning their own hands. It was a unique creation handmade for Uchiha.

Her task was finished and the weird urge of boredom was kicking back in. She looked around the room a few times and gave the fireproof robe a curious glance.

Before she knew it she had the robe and gloves on, looking at them in her vanity mirror. _Her_ vanity mirror. She didn't know any Uchiha man that owned a single mirror. Half of them probably had no idea what they looked like. She twirled in it a little, like it were a dress. Giving it looks from all angles.

She felt bizarre for doing it but there was something so appealing to feel what it was like to get dressed for war Uchiha-style. Out of all the Uchiha, Madara definitely dressed up the most. He led his men into battle and he made it obvious he was their leader.

She wanted to laugh that he had a secret passion for dressing sassy.

The look wasn't completed. She bent down in the clothes that swallowed her whole and picked up the polished armor. She had assisted people in putting on armor before, so it wasn't hard for the petite Uzumaki to figure it out.

The blood colored armor was heavy. Heavier than she suspected. It was still light and agile but definitely felt a bit restrictive to movements. Taijutsu would not be the easiest mission in this garb.

As if standing in drag wasn't enough, she started moving around in front of her mirror. Practicing punches and kicks. Once she felt more comfortable she even started mocking movements just like Madara's, finding this dress up to be a lot more fun than she first anticipated.

"I'm Uchiha Madara, and you are weak. You are more than weak, you're a weak Senju. And weak Senju are _ugly_." She said in a mocking voice.

The door slid open casually and her heart stopped.

A heavy silence fell and she slowly looked to the door.

Madara stood there in his casual shinobi attire with his eyebrows furrowed in complete confusion.

She mimicked his expression and stared.

An awkward staring competition ensued, waiting to see who would crack first.

"Well, I had to finish the look." Mito finally spoke.

XXX

"Madara was suppose to grab a paper and be right back, it's been 30 minutes..." Izuna mumbled walking down the narrow hallway to his brother's part of the house.

He heard strange noises coming from his room. But not _that_ kind. He was a little apprehensive but knocked and slowly slid open the door. "Ma..dara?"

The door was barely slid enough for him to fit in but he froze at the site.

First it was terror but then it slowly changed to utter confusement.

"This diamond on my forehead is telling me someone has entered my home." Madara spat.

Izuna looked on at his brother. If someone asked him there was one thing Madara would never do, it would probably be make an alliance with Senju and then probably dress in drag. He questioned how well he really knew the man that came from the same parents.

"Nice... kimono." Izuna tear dropped.

"You forgot to compliment my buns," Madara opened his fan and started fanning his face.

"Silence, woman!" Mito barked with her hands on her hips. "Who could notice you when my _hair_ is so dark and wild? Just like my personality!"

"I... I'm going to just complete the paperwork alone." Izuna stared blankly while shutting the door.

"You don't buy me enough _clothes_." Madara whined.

"You bored woman? Go have a baby!" Mito barked.

"I'm _never_ getting married," Izuna sighed walking away.

XXX

A/N: I finally did it! After inventing Sassy Madara when he first appeared I have FINALLY called him sassy in one of my fics. Feels good man, feels good.

And don't ask, I have no idea what I just wrote. All I know is MadaMito is canon in my head.


End file.
